


I Assure You

by calcimeta



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: :(, Angst, Infinity War spoilers, Thor is grieving, people are sad and everything hurts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 12:01:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14592612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calcimeta/pseuds/calcimeta
Summary: Post Infinity War (and assumed post A4), Thor is grieving.





	I Assure You

**Author's Note:**

> Last warning: Infinity War spoilers ahead.

It was a small ceremony. Just Thor, Valkyrie, Bruce, and some of the surviving Asgardians. They weren’t here for Loki, he knew, they were here for their king, to comfort him. It was only him shedding tears.

Thor built the raft himself, slim and long, like Loki himself; masses of flowers surrounded his body, the long horns of his helmet poking out from the boat’s shrubbery. In his hands, in a loose grip, his daggers. How Loki had loved those daggers; how often Thor had felt their bite, as part of a prank, or some meaningless revenge scheme cooked up in the moment.

Not that any of that mattered now. Thor wasn’t ashamed of the tears he shed on that day, offering a short, tearful speech on Loki’s importance to him and how he wished he could be here for Earth’s liberation from Thanos’ cruel grip. 

Loki had had to have been ripped from Thor’s arms to hold his funeral; Thor had been inconsolable, insistent that this was just a particularly elaborate prank, that he’d wake up any moment and laugh at Thor’s tearful manner, any second, any moment now.

Thor knew now that Thanos’ awful declaration had rung true; “No resurrections this time.” He knew and, by the Allfather he wished he were wrong, he wished Loki would sit up and howl with laughter at the crowd dressed in black.

The boat floating away on a sun-soaked river was almost poetically beautiful. The flames consuming it as it, as Loki, sank was even more so, but it didn’t stop Thor crying, sobbing, unable to find the poetry, the beauty, even the irony as Loki would have been able to. As the crowd dissipated, each wishing Thor their best and their services if he ever needed “to talk,” Thor was left alone, standing on the shore watching the light of his brother fade.

The god of thunder felt colder and more alone that he ever knew he could feel. When he used his abilities, he felt the warmth and the living energy flow through him, but now he felt… Lifeless. He longed to speak with his brother once more, to speak and joke and even fight with Loki, but he knew he never could. Ironically, the person he would have spoken to all of this about would have been Heimdall. But he, too… It hurt too much. Thor had to leave.

 

He had a monument erected in Loki’s memory. It was a recreation of the monument “Odin” had had made of Loki, since Thor decided that his brother knew himself well enough to know what kind of statue he would have wanted. Inscripted in a plaque at Loki’s stone feet was “Loki Odinson, god of mischief, prince of Asgard, brother, friend, Revenger.” 

He visited the monument every week, once a week, sometimes more. It was situated on top of a grassy hill, the sun soaking the landscape and Loki’s memory in a soft, golden glow. “The sun is shining on us again, Loki,” Thor murmured softly, patting the statue’s plaque as his voice choked up. 

Each week, he’d tell Loki about recent and coming events, chatting to him as if we was right there by his side. “Loki,” he sat on the stone base by his brother’s feet, watching the rolling hills as he contemplated one day. “Your sacrifice… means everything to me, Loki. You gave your life for mine and even after all of your tricks and betrayals, I knew there was still goodness and hope within you. I’m sorry, Loki. You a- were,” he corrected, feeling his tears well, “not the worst, and I am sorry I said so. I love you, brother. I hope you are in Valhalla, and I hope you are at peace.”

“The days feel longer without your wit, Loki. Everything feels heavier, grimmer. They tell me it will get easier, but this is different from the other times you ‘died.’ Though Earth is at peace, I am not, brother. Asgard struggles to settle; half of humanity has returned, but half of Asgard has not. The loss weighs heavily upon our people, myself included. It was hard when our allies’ loved ones returned and ours… did not. You did not.” Finally he was spilling, telling Loki everything he was bothered by but couldn’t say to others. “I wish you were here to rule alongside me. Your input, especially now, would be invaluable.” 

He sat in silence for a long time, allowing his sorrow to flow freely. Eventually he stood up, and grinned widely at the statue as he wiped his tears. “I will be back next week, brother. I love you.” 

Somehow Thor always felt both better and worse after visiting Loki. Valkyrie had expressed concern, but considering that her response to grief had been to flee to a distant planet and drink herself stupid, what could she know of it? The Avengers, or what remained of them, had tried to offer their condolences, and maybe they had felt loss, but they forgot that Thor and Loki had been brothers for several thousand years. They knew nothing of the loss of gods. 

Thor appreciated them trying, even so. It was true, having a network of friends who cared for him had been truly invaluable thus far. He only wished he could wrap his arms around his brother and tease him playfully once more, if only he could tell his brother he loved him and hear it back. It had been many years since they had done that. The last time was… Before Thor had been sent to Earth for the first time. How long ago that seemed now.

How long ago it had been since the sun had shone on Loki, alive and well. How long ago the sun had shone on Thor truly smiling.


End file.
